The scene looks like this. A sixteen-year-old sees the word pregnant appear after peeing on a stick. She panics and chooses abortion because she’s not ready to be a mother. Sometimes her parents are painted as religious fundamentalists who are completely ignorant to the complications having a baby would add to her future. She has no choice but to keep it a secret from them. Other times, those “pro-life parents” are depicted as cruel and shaming, forcing their daughter to “choose life” in a way that feels far from grace-filled or loving. She’ll tell her supportive friends to cross a few state lines to get an abortion because she doesn’t want to be a mom.
This is how the media has programmed culture to think about abortion. It’s the scene we see in movies and television shows that conjures compassion for the pregnant girl, disdain for pro-life parents, and disregard for an unborn baby who would only “ruin” a promising future. Sometimes the characters change. It may be a twenty-something who just landed a great job and has to decide between a baby or her career. Or, the woman who’s at a place in her life she loves and she’s not sure she wants to be a mother.
But is this really the most common scenario in which abortions take place? Do most abortions happen because women (or teen girls) don’t want to have a baby? Do women decide to get abortions because they don’t want to be a mother?
The answer may surprise you. According to the research, “Not wanting children” is the least common reason for women to choose abortion. Only three percent of women surveyed in a five-year study of why women seek abortions choose “don’t want children” as their response. Women, by and large, don’t choose abortion because they don’t want a baby. They choose abortion because they don’t believe they have the support they need to raise a child.
Likewise, it’s women in their twenties and early thirties who account for most abortions today, not teenagers. The same study shows that “not financially prepared,” “not a good time,” and “issues with partner” applied to nearly one-third of all the women surveyed. Another twenty-nine percent chose abortion because of a need to focus on other children, meaning they already were mothers at the time they chose abortion.
Understanding this data is critical to our mission as people who are Pro Abundant Life. We must see that convincing women a baby is a life or that motherhood is a good choice may not be enough to help them make a decision for life. Instead, it’s vital that we tap into what she’s really feeling. We have to understand the ways she feels alone, unsupported, or ill-equipped financially or otherwise to raise a child.
What We Choose When We’re Unsupported and Afraid
Care Net President and CEO, Roland Warren, likes to share the story of Peter, Christ’s disciple who denied him three times. That denial, Warren explains, is like Peter aborting Jesus. Peter pretends he never knew Jesus, cutting himself off from connection and association with someone he both followed and knew. Peter determined that his life would be safer and easier if he distanced himself from Jesus.
But, why? How did Peter come to this place where he went from professing his allegiance to Jesus to denying him three times? The answer is: Peter felt alone. Peter felt unsupported. And, in this situation, Peter panicked. How different would it have been for Peter if the other disciples had stuck by his side? Would Peter have made the same choice if James, John, and Andrew were by his side?
As people who are Pro Abundant Life, we must see how important it is to help women and men facing unplanned pregnancies to feel supported. Care Net affiliated centers do this through offering pre-natal support, providing for some material needs a new mom has, and offering education and equipping program for both expectant moms and dads. Simply by acknowledging and encouraging the involvement of the baby’s father, a woman can feel exponentially more supported as she considers having and keeping her baby.
Of course, women often make abortion decisions not because they’re concerned about carrying or delivering the baby. Their fear is around raising and supporting a baby. Will they have the support they need after delivery to raise a healthy child?
Getting Women the Support They Need to Choose Life
That’s why the work of Care Net’s pregnancy centers has to be coordinated with the local church. It’s the church that has the biggest untapped opportunity to help expectant women and know that they will have the support they need after the baby is born. Though our pregnancy centers share the gospel with their clients, it’s the local church that has the best opportunity to live out the gospel to these men and women. If we want to change the landscape of abortion in America, churches must become proactive in serving women and men considering abortion.
Most women don’t choose abortion because they don’t want a baby. They choose abortion because they feel alone, unsupported, and uncertain about their future. Therein lies a tremendous opportunity for Pro Abundant Life Christians. We don’t have to convince women to want to become mothers or that babies are blessings. Instead, we need to be the hands and feet of Jesus to them. We need to see them in their point of need and choose to love, support, and care for them.
Not sure where to start? Check out Care Net’s Making Life Disciples program. With some easy implementation strategies, you can help equip your church to have a real impact on women and men facing unplanned pregnancies in your community. Learn more here.
Want to learn more about why women have abortions and how you can play a role in helping more women choose life? Check out Roland Warren’s new book The Alternative to Abortion here.
More information:
Biggs MA, Gould H, Foster DG. Understanding why women seek abortions in the US. BMC Women’s Health. 2013;13(1):29. doi:10.1186%2F1472-6874-13-29
Kortsmit K, Nguyen AT, Mandel MG, et al. Abortion Surveillance — United States, 2021. MMWR Surveill Summ 2023;72(No. SS-9):1–29. DOI.